Photo by Paul Clermont Ding! Dong! The Wedding Bells Will Ring!
by SE O'Callaghan


Few people probably know that the famous "dah-dah-da-DA-da-da-dah, dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah" which accompanies a triumphant bride and groom as they exit down the nave of the church (not the aisle, as is commonly believed) was composed as incidental music for a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream by the 17-year old Mendelssohn. It is unlikely the teenage composer had any inkling that his work would become one of the many touchstones associated with modern weddings. This article will examine some of these traditions, their roots and their meanings.

Why weddings? As anyone who has ever been involved in one knows, they are equal parts high art and comedy, combining planning and logistics worthy of the Normandy Invasion with vast emotion, creaky religiosity and finger food, all wrapped in good and bad luck omens and signs. And they ain't cheap. I have always maintained that, in a peculiar way, weddings have much in common with another highly stylized ritual: funerals. Many of the customs, price and planning are similar, though people do generally wear more black at funerals. Perhaps most importantly, weddings and funerals are not designed for the people for the ostensible Stars of the Show; these few are relegated to merely part of the act, the lion's share of fun going to the guests. Both customs have much more to do with the audience and the bit players and their participation in the pageant. So why do we spend so much energy on them? Well, according to Socrates, "By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." (On the other hand, Socrates drank hemlock, so how much did he know.)

We marry, in part, because civilization demands it; our distracted and wandering natures need the focus and structure provided by this legislated manifestation of love. Though much is made of the rates at which these unions can unravel, it is still a much better thing than to live in the ambient, anomial state provided by either the monastic life or shacking up. Committment demands comittment and gets people through unimaginably difficult times.

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